Empty or Expanding?
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Hello, Readers!
The meadow behind our home is on the cusp of shifting from vibrant green to yellow to gold. As the garden shifts, so does our home—from a full house to a quiet one. Over the past year, I’ve spent a lot of time living in anticipatory grief over our nest emptying. This week, I discovered the anticipation was, as it is with much of life, more anxiety-inducing than the reality.
Sophie is ready for this, and I’m…ready-adjacent. I spent time processing, journaling, and discussing this transition in therapy for over a year, and I can confidently say these practices made the transition much easier. I’m not sure this is necessary for every parent when their kids leave home, but it was for me.
One mom I met on move-in day raised her arm and cheered as she moved her youngest child into the dorm, saying she couldn’t wait for empty nest life. As for me, this season of life coincided with so much upheaval, emotional distress, and the emergence of unresolved wounds, which meant I needed time and lots of support. There is no shame in either of our responses.
My friend Joy dislikes the term empty nest because it has negative connotations (I agree!). She likes to think of it as an expanding nest. We, as mothers, get to take up a little more space now that the chicks have flown. We get to inhabit more—more of ourselves, our home, our hours, our relationships, our hobbies, our dreams. This opportunity for expansion is beautiful if we have the eyes to see it. Two years ago, I couldn’t see the expansive gift. Today, I do, and I’m grateful.
If you haven’t approached this stage of life, you have fur babies not children, or you passed it years ago, the details of my story may not feel relevant. But, we’re all in various stages of transition or change. Sometimes we know change is coming--we may be pregnant, or ready to wean a nursing baby. We may have a new job, or a big move ahead. Maybe we're shifting into a stage of caring for aging parents. We often focus our energy on planning the logistics.
Please, remember your soul in the process.
We experience every change on a soul level too, and when we have the gift of foresight about a life transition, it’s wise to get curious about how our soul might receive it. It’s wise to peer into the heart of our grief, our fears, our emotions, our wounds, so that we can resource ourselves with whatever we need to move through it slowly, gently, with self-kindness. With time, honest reflection, and a safe embodied witness, it’s possible to move through anticipated change without it taking us out at the knees in a single whack.
I’ll close with a book recommendation if you’re learning how to move through a transition without being entirely consumed by it. Aundi Kolber’s book Strong Like Water might be the companion you need to treat your soul with kindness and develop a deeper sense of resilience. As she writes, resilience isn’t born from surviving something hard, it’s birthed in the repair. This book offers resources for slow, deep soul work, and I highly recommend it.
Get curious this week. What does your soul need to say to you?
**Are you looking ahead at a change, a transition, or a new life season? Comment below and tell me about it!