The Beautiful Truth of You

Letter writing as a form of telling the truth

Hello Readers!

I finally made the move here to substack, although it’s a bit rough around the edges for the time being. One significant change going forward (which kept me from making the switch sooner) is that you’ll no longer be able to hit reply directly to my posts and have your response land in my email inbox. However, I’d love to hear from you in the comments, and you can always drop me a line directly at kimberly@teamcoyle.net. I love hearing from you!

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A few years ago, I learned how to pronounce the word epistolary for the first time before teaching it to a classroom of students. I’d only seen it written and never spoken, so I stumbled over the pronunciation as I described an epistolary novel—a book written in letter form.

This form can be surprisingly controversial among readers. Some readers hate the form, while others (me included) love it. There is something powerful about the use of language in letters that allows us to peer into the minds of correspondents in a way that descriptive writing can’t. Letters offer a window into the inner workings of the mind, while also leaving so much unsaid. I always wonder what words wanted expression, but never made it to the page.

Last week, my son’s girlfriend sent me a letter in which she described how the last four years of knowing each other has impacted her life for the better. The letter was a memoir writing assignment for one of her classes¹, and she wrote in specific, detailed language about the small qualities she noticed in me that made a difference to her. She used language to reflect the image of a woman I haven’t seen since 2019.

Well, well, PTSD. I guess you haven’t stolen as much from me as I once believed.

Sister Macrina Wiederkehr writes, “O God, help me believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is.” Throughout the week, I’ve read this letter repeatedly, letting the words sink into my soul, letting myself believe them.

Why is it so difficult to believe the truth about ourselves?

We are beautiful creatures, exquisitely ordinary in our humanness, and yet each one of us is uniquely made for this moment in time and these people who inhabit our lives. And words, ours and others, are a disco ball where we’re seen in all of our prismatic glory.

As I’ve spent the past few months re-reading some of my older journals (letters to self), I noticed how often the prism of my past words reflected a false version of me. With over three years of deep therapy and healing behind me now, I no longer use words to hurt myself. The words I write to and about myself now come from a place of belovedness. They reflect the real truth God speaks over me.

I’m a haphazard journaler at best, but every day, I write down what I hear or see in my mind’s eye when I spend time in contemplative prayer. Contemplative prayer is simply a form of listening, and my small pink notebook is a disco ball of words that reflect the Spirit of truth and beauty and how this Spirit sees me. It’s helped me to “believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is.” It’s helped set me free.

Reflective Practice:

Spend 10 minutes in listening silence with God, choosing a word or image to return to when your mind wanders. Be gentle with yourself if you find it takes much time and effort to quiet your thoughts. This is normal!

After ten minutes of listening, write down any words or images that rose to the surface as you focused on God’s loving presence. If what rises is unkind, shame-inducing or self-flagellating, this is not God speaking to you. Refocus--what does Love say?

Spend time with these words or images. Write yourself a letter with the words or images as your source material. Read and re-read your letter until you begin to see the prism of light reflected in you, until you believe this beauty is true.

Let’s Chat: Have you received or written a letter that revealed something beautiful about you?

Thanks for being here,

Kimberly

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1. Kudos to this professor! I love assignments that generate work to share with others. I’ve created a few similar assignments for my classes. Students enjoy them and recipients do to